This is yet another attempt to try and find a place to leave my marks. Like buying notebooks and being scared to use them. There can be so much to it, I can't get over myself. Treat it as my stats if I were a video game character, my try to sum myself up when I feel like a puddle spreading and losing the sense of shape. I like creating stuff, documenting stuff and consuming what others have created. So, that's pretty much it.
When I have the time, I rest like a retired old man. If I allowed myself, I would finish this loaf of soda bread right here right now.
Easily tired 22 year old printmaking student from Art Academy of Latvia, @NCAD in Dublin till May 2026.
I like being outside, having lots of coffee, as for now both the shirt that I'm wearing and my set of bedsheets are plaid, and I've been doing sudokus, so it seems like I'm really into squares huh? Who would've thought. I hated maths as a kid.
03/05/26
Dry update: semester done, short exhibition in Dublin set up and taken down, everything submitted, today is Sunday and I have exactly two weeks left here. Listening to lots of Juri Lotman's recorded lectures about 18th century Russian and art. Lots of sudokus, lots of coffee. Today is not as warm but I really feel like wearing shorts.
08/04/26
"Damn me, but all things are queer, come to think of them. But that's against my principles. Think not, is my eleventh commandment; and sleep when you can, is my twelfth - so there goes again."06/04/26
Funny how overthinking one sillier, more subjective, ego-centered thing can ease other worries. Feels like shit in the moment, but after you're done with it there's some kind of relief.
Unrelated. The wind is tiring me badly.
04/04/26
Struggling badly with only thinking about the overwhelming amount of things to do/the overwhelming absence of things to do (which I waited for so patiently). Only thinking about the times to that are yet to come and how I seemingly always run out of it. Always too much and not enough, always too early or too late. It is, in fact, just ENOUGH and it is in fact, just NOW.
03-04/26 dump!
04/26
Currentlty reading: Melville's Moby Dick
Got a 1945 edition! It looks tiny and the pages are (paper?) thin. It smells old.
As of 03/05/26: I have like a quarter of it left now, taking me a long time, but hey do I have to hurry or what.
I'm around chapter 47. They've been getting longer, I notice I get excited to see if the next chapter will be a long one or a shorter one. Like The Chart, the general impression that you get is all lines, the pencil-traced lines, deep marks on Ahab's forehead and mazes of currents, veins through which the whales swim and all, it creates this strong visual impression that veils over the whole chapter, helping me to stick with it even if I start getting distracted.
I'm somewhere around the 25th chapter I think? Getting through it surprisingly with ease. It reminds me of being like 10 and reading Robinson Crusoe for my summer reading. All that sea adventure and the old time guys explaining how tough they are. It does make me wish I could connect my life with the sea somehow though, in this very romantic and superficial way, yeah, but still. I've been writing down some quotes, nothing deep, just something that I enjoy the sound of.
Currently watching: Supernatural
The curiosity came out of distant memory or the rageface meme comics I used to see all over the web like 15 years ago. And all that weird sort of nostalgia. I think it's beautifully made though, visually I mean, like a piece of dark chocolate that has bloomed a little.
Currently listening:
Weird mix of 80s rock and 90s east coast hip-hop. In the springtime it's usually one or the other.
Earlier this year read:
- Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita
- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
- S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders
- R. F. Kuang, Babel
- John Creedon, An Irish Folklore Treasury
- Stephen Hawking, Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays
01/05/26 Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Unintentionally having a Tarantino marathon I guess. This one I have nothing bad to say about, but it's also not the most memorable. Brad Pitt's face seemed a caricature for the whole time, and maybe I just have other preferences when it comes to movies about nazis, like Guillermo del Torro does it.
30/04/26 Death Proof (2007)
Just MIGHT be my favorite thing I watched this month, I went in expecting something nice enough and it ended up being a gorgeous picture put into a nice tidy frame. I don't knwo why the whole chase, stunts and actions were so much more captivating for me than all the more contemporary action-pumped stuff, but I could not keep my eyes off it. Violence, stress, then immediate revenge. Left me deeply satisfied.
29/04/26 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Of course I liked it, I like it when things round up nicely like that. Because almost everything happens in the same location (the warehouse), it starts feeling theatrical to me. The simplified pseudonyms of the characters contribute to that too. The whole figuring out who is the rat + almost biblical-style physical suffering, holding one another covered in blood and swet - straight up picturesque.
28/04/26 Jackie Brown (1997)
From the aesthetic point of view I got what I've been craving, really. I remember having some thoughts about the line between being in a vulnerable position and actually being vulnerable, like the difference is really important here. God, I did enjoy the music.
27/04/26 Saturday Night Fever (1977)
I liked the membrane of it, not its core. But I understand that you're not supposed to enjoy it - my main conclusion was that it reminded me of A Clockwork Orange, with the kind of sadistic and egocentric violence among young people.
25/04/26 The Golden Calf (1968)
Took me three nights to finish it, but only because I get sleepy and the movie is long. Man, I mean, it leaves an impression, it's properly immersive, it kept me interested and curious even though it is very era-specific and at this point requires some historical context. A beautiful, charming, ambient one.
22/04/26 Spider-Man (2002)
A classic for all the right reasons, goofy-looking when it needs to be, serious when it needs to be. I mean the formula of it is so boiled down and essential I see why my childhood classic Superhero movies (2008) with Leslie Nielsen is the same carcass with shit for flesh (lovingly).
08/04/26 Rocky (1976)
God knows how many times I've watched it, I stopped counting after the 5th time. No matter how uncomfortable it is to watch every interaction between Rocky and Adrian (I'm still confused by how it makes me feel), I think it's just another case of me being completely charmed by things like Rocky's place, the scene of waking up at 4am and turning the radio on, the ambience of the locker room and all that. Yeah, if I try to recall it, one of the things that stuck with me when I first watched it when I was younger was his fridge, the stairs outside of the building, how I wanted a place like this.
07/04/26 The Lighthouse
Visually Delicious, man. Even the fact that some major inspiration was taken from a piece of fine art (Sascha Schneider, Hypnosis, 1904) makes me see it all more clearly. I started watching it while eating dinner, but decided to finish eating first because the movie deserved more of my attention, it's the case when you gotta look at it to fully perceive it. Yeah, very uncomfortable, very obviouly on purpose, and it's a pleasure to sit through it and let it make you feel all that.
06/04/26 Goodfellas
Rewatched. Probably paid more attention while watching than I did before though. I get this tacky, sticky feeling from the movie, in a weirdly charismatic way too. Somewhat like wearing a tight top on a hot summer day? Out of all decades that the plot covered, I really enjoyed the 70s more than anything else. The parts with The Rolling Stones' songs playing over them. And it left a stong enough aesthetic impression on me to spend the next day listening to Steve Miller and Cream.
Are you bored yet?
